You know you're an Oasis fan and you're from Milan, when.....

...it rhymes :)

I post these 2 lists, as I consider myself the biggest fan, and I could be the next Milan mayor :), as I was born, always lived, still live, will live and will die, in Milan historic centre.

All of this doesn't mean that I totally love Milan and Oasis (well, I think probably Oasis are better than Milan :), I know so well the bad parts...

If one is not an Oasis fan and not from Milan, reading this he would probably think that if you're an Oasis fan from Milan, you must be quite a nervous person ahahaha well probably it's true... in my mind I see many things in common between being Oasis fan and being from Milan.

Anyway, it's good to laugh about this, in some parts these are lists just for fun. Just another step to know more about ourselves.

(I will add more)

You know you're an Oasis fan when...

whenever you sing, your arms have to be behind you, legs bent, and head tilted up ...I USED TO, WHEN I WAS A BIG LIAM FAN, NOW LESS...

when you walk down the street you try to walk like Liam...you look ridiculous, but you do not mind...cos it makes you feel powerful

You want to leather somebody if they point a camera at you ...MWAHAHAHAHAHA THIS IS ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE PEOPLE TAKING PHOTOS OF ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PAPARAZZI !!!!!!!!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

you've seriously considered naming your kids Liam or Noel

You swagger when both drunk and sober

You wear a cocky sneer permanently, just because you know you're great... And you are. ...OH YESSSSS I AM.

You buy DVD's or CD's of other groups or compilations just to get that one version of Noel playing acoustic or the band playing a live B Side. ...SO MUCH MONEY SPENT...

You immediately get on the bandwagon of a band that Noel has complimented. ...MMM NOT REALLY, I'M LAZY ABOUT THIS, IT TAKES A LOT OF TIME TO MAKE ME LIKE A BAND... I PREFER GOOD OLD BANDS...

You punch people who think of Oasis as just Wonderwall ...SO I SHOULD HAVE PUNCHED MY FIRST GIRLFRIEND IHIHIHI

you still hum the tunes of Be Here Now, even though it was written off by half the population

you know Gem is pronounced with the g as in Gary, not g as in George

you're part of the Masterplan

you've grown out your sideburns ...YESSSSSSSSSS... GIRLS TOO IHIHIHI BUT YOU HAVE NO BEARD (MAYBE :)) LOL) SO YOU COULD MAKE THEM WITH THE HAIR

you spend most of your time sitting around thinking of a good Noel insult to tell somebody you dislike ...THAT'S WHAT I DO !!!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA)

you have lost friends because you try as hard as possible to be arrogant like noel ...IT'S SAD (MAYBE), BUT TRUE....... BUT I DON'T MISS MUCH THOSE FRIENDS...

you have become a fan of Manchester City just because the Gallaghers are

even if they are nice people, you immediately hate them if you find out they are blur fans ...IHIHIHI TO ME IT HAPPENS WHEN I FIND COLDPLAY OR MUSE FANS... I KNOW IT'S CRAZY TO BE AN OASIS FAN FOLLOWING POINTS AS THIS ONE, BUT I CAN'T HELP, IT'S JUST ME :)

you become depressed when an oasis song is not included in 1 of those stupid online top 100 song countdown things ...AHAHAHAHA TRUE, THEN I GET ANGRY :)

you begin to hate other artists just because Noel has previously insulted them for no reason ...MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA TOTALLY TRUE

you have the urge to punch someone if they claim to have never heard of oasis ...WELL NOT REALLY PUNCH, I JUST START TO FEEL SORRY FOR THEM, I LOOK AT THEM AS PEOPLE WITHOUT A LIFE AHAHAHAHAHA

you secretly enjoy "Heathen Chemistry"

you refuse to do anything over the summer just because Oasis might be touring and you dont want to miss it ...IN FACT I WAS PLANNING THE SAME IF LIAM WOULD HAVE DONE WHAT HE SAID...

you have considered dressing up as Liam or Noel for Halloween... WELL, SO I'M DRESSED FOR HALLOWEEN THE WHOLE YEAR AHAHAHAHA

You wish everything you said was repeated by Noel speaking into a megaphone

You absolutely marvel at the harmony between the two Gallaghers in the chorus of Columbia

You spend all day on the phone trying to get tickets, even if you know they sold out ages ago

You tried drinking Gin and Tonic, even though you know you hate the stuff ...AHAHAHAHAHA TRUE

you spend all day and all night watching videos and interviews of them on youtube

you put on their songs really loud, pose in front of the mirror and pretend you are Liam

You have some Oasis CD in your hi-fi permanently on

When you're in a music store you line up all the Oasis albums in a way that everybody can see them

you gave up religion so you could give more time and commitment on the worship of Noel Gallagher

you learnt to play guitar because you see Noel as your idol and you were inspired to learn

...We are mad, but we can't help being so :)

You know you're from Milan when...

- typical fog and sometimes rain remind you of England and Oasis :)

- Milan flag reminds you of England :)

- everyday you blame the traffic in the city
- everyday you take the car (NOT ME)
- you know you have to add 10 minutes to the times written on the bus stops
- for every ten words you say, "minchia" and "feega" (figa) (bad words referring to female sex :) come out minimum three times

- if things are not precise, you get nervous
- you know that using the bike means risking your life
- actually you are proud of being from Milan (I AM :)
- when you meet someone else from Milan, your first question is: “but from Milan-Milan?” (because many say they're from Milan even though they live in the suburbs)
- you hate pigeons and people who feed them
- you know exactly how not to be stopped by people who try to sell you bracelets or politics newspapers
- if you have to pay the rent of the apartment, probably you’re not the happiest person in the world
- "Ausiliari del Traffico" are your worst enemies (a sort of policemen, but ordinary people usually with faces of idiots, doing that job, giving fines to cars)
- if you ride a bike or a scooter in Corso di Porta Romana your hands are gonna shake for 10 minutes more because of the pavè antique floor
- at least once you have been woken up by L'Arrotino (old job by a man) or by useless communist demonstrations / a pacifist march against war
- you wonder why they don't put some more lights in the Red and Green lines of the Metro
- you wonder why the announcement for the strikes of ATM (public transports, metro lines) seems to come from the moon
- you would prefer to meet Hannibal the Cannibal than going around Central Station in the night
- you would prefer to be poisoned than taking a swim in the Navigli channels
- if you are a man, during the Fashion Weeks you are either very happy or very sad because of all the models in the city
- you don’t understand why at the front office of “international tickets” of the Central Station there’re only Italian speakers
- if you take 90-91 or 95 in the night you're gonna be the only white person on the bus
- you hate all the tourists that make you wait in queue to have a panzerotto to eat at Luini's
- you still don't understand why people come from other regions just to study at IULM (I UNDERSTAND BECAUSE I STUDIED AT IULM :) ...IT'S BECAUSE OF BEAUTIFUL GIRLS !!! AHAHAHAHA)
- no matter of blue, yellow lines and sidewalks: in the night you park your car where you find a place (if you find one) (and anyway also if you wanna pay, you don’t know where to buy a ticket)
- when in the night the traffic-lights start to be intermittent, the “law of the jungle” becomes reality
- if in the night you see a little light spot in the sky, you feel to see the stars
- you don’t buy anything to drink in “Todos a Cuba”. You just use it as a bathroom
- if you are the first car on a red traffic-light you should move with a reaction-time of 0.001sec if you don’t want the other cars to horn to you
- you know it’s easier to tame (=domare, in Italian) a tiger than conquering a posh girl from Milan
- you love and hate it, but anyway “Milan l’è semper un grand Milan” (="Milan is always a great Milan", in Milan dialect)