Springtime, Scottish style. Too much G&T. Road fever. Midnight in a disinfected hotel: the two brothers at the core of themost hell-ride rock'n'roll band in the world, a few associates and a journalist's tape recorder. The rest passed in a haze of shouting, swearing, smoking, and anxious television teetering on the brink of being hurled from windows. Supersonic. Simple as.
Noel's track: a lot of swearing and cussing.
Liam's track: even more swearing and cussing.
14 minutes of verbal mayhem, this is theatre!
Liam: I'm into it, me. I'm into it, but at the end of the day, like he says, I go home and get a clip off me mam. Know what I mean, and I do. She clips me 'round the head and goes, "What are you like, you little tinker?".
Q: Did you get a clip after Amsterdam?
Liam: Oh yeah, I get it all the time. You know what I mean, she looks at me and goes, "You fuckin' daft bastard."
Noel: It's not a, it's a reputation, right, that I... Liam : I like the way it's bubbling up. It's reminding me of the Roses all over again. I like that, me. I want to get 2000 people in a nice fuckin' gaff who are there to see you, not fuckin' go... Noel: No, no, no, eeyare.
Liam: I want Blur to go, yeah, man, I'm a fucking...
Noel: Woah. eeyare. Hang on a minute. That's not what he's on about.
Liam: He is.
Noel: He's on about a reputation, about getting thrown off fuckin' ferries. Liam: Yeah, but that's part of it, that's what...
Q: How do you feel about the fact that that's what's spoken of them. Or it was, sort of...
Noel: The thing about getting thrown off ferries - blah, blah, blah - and getting deported is summat that I'm not proud about because...
Liam: Well I am, la.
Noel: Yeah, alright. Well if you're, right, well if you're, right, well if, if you're proud about getting thrown off ferries, then why don't you go and support West Ham and get the fuck out of my band and go and be a football hooligan, right? Coz we're musicians, right? We're not football hooligans. Liam: You're only gutted coz you was in bed fuckin' reading your fuckin' books...
Noel: No, not at all. Listen. No, listen. He says, right... Here's a quote for you from my manager, Marcus Russell, right...
Liam: He's a fuckin'...'nother fuckin'...
Noel: Shut up, you dick. Right, he gets off the ferry after getting fuckin' deported. I'm left in Amsterdam with me dick out like a fuckin' spare prick at a fuckin' wedding...
Liam: It was a bad move, you know...
Noel: Shut up! Shut up! Right, he gets off the ferry and Marcus says, "What are you fuckin' doing?", you know, "What the fuck is going..."
Liam: (mocking Noel) What the fuh, wha' the fuh, wha' fuh....(?unintelligible?)
Noel: "What are you doing...", and all that, and he says, right, "These lot think it's rock'n'roll to get thrown off a ferry...to get..." Liam: No I don't. Noel: Shut up. These lot think it's rock'n'roll to get thrown off... Liam: I don't.
Noel: Shut the fuck up, man! These lot think...(laughing in background)...I'm gonna have to say this part, are you gonna shut up?! (laughing) These lot think it's rock'n'roll to get thrown off a ferry, right, to come into hotel foyers to get everybody at it an to go - shut up! - to start thinking, "Hey, it's rock 'n' roll." Do you know what my manager said to him? He said, "Nah. Rock'n'roll is going to Amsterdam, doing your gig, playing your music, that's rock 'n' roll, right... and coming back and saying you blew 'em away." Not getting thrown off the ferry like some fuckin' scouse schlepper with your fuckin'...with...being handcuffed. That's football hooliganism...
Liam: No it isn't...
Noel: ...and I won't stand for it Liam: No it isn't...
Noel: And listen, they all got fined a thousand pounds each.
Liam: We didn't at all.
Noel: Yes you fuckin' did.
Liam: You can stick your thousands pounds right up yer fuckin’ arse 'till it comes out your fuckin' big toe.
(Noel retires to the toilet)
Q: You're not up for being seen as bad lads, are you?
Liam: No, I'm not up for, no, no, I'm not, I'm not up for being...
Noel: (from bathroom) He's not a bad lad! He's a fucking'...you know what I mean, he's like...
Liam: Shut the fuck up....fuckin'...shut up!...I'm not up for being seen as a bad lad, I'm just up for being seen as me. And what happened on that boat, right, is we got, had a few drinks and that's because I like drinking. And I love it. I'm into it.
Noel: (From bathroom) You can't drink, you dickhead! Liam: Who can't drink? Well fuckin' where the fuck did it go? It went right in there, and I dealt with it.
Noel: (Still in bathroom) Eeyare! Wooah!
Liam: Hey, shut up! Shut the fuck up! Now, listen, right, now listen, right. And I'm not, I'm not saying, right, I'm not saying I'm proud of what happened, but...that is what happened. That's what occured on that night. And it's like what fuckin' Bobby Gillespie said. He said, "I'm sick of all these fuckin' bands who, who ain't got, who don't get in situations and that no more." The last band that did it was the Pistols, and that, and they'd go out and, like, summat would happen. (flushing noise) And that's all it is sir: that's the way we are, or the way I am.
Liam: I always go out and meet some... Noel: That's bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit! Liam: It's not bullshit. It's bullshit in your world, but in my world it's fucking...
Noel: It's bullshit. Nah, it's bullshit. Liam: Shut the fuck up. What you've been ranting on about, right, is bullshit to me.
Noel: If you think rock'n'roll is... if you think rock'n'roll...if you think rock'n'roll is getting arrested and all that...
Liam: Rock'n'roll is about being yourself.
Noel: No it's not...
Liam: And I went on that fuckin' boat, I had a drink, I had too much beer and I got in a fight and that was it. Noel: Rock'n'roll is about music. Music. Music. Music. It's not about you, it's not about me, it's not about Oasis. It's about the songs. Liam: No it isn't. No it isn't. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah...
Noel: It's not, it's not about you.
Liam: What the fuck were the Pistols, then?
Noel: Who's talking about the Sex Pistols?
Liam: They were the best' rock'n'roll band that ever fuckin’ came out. Or one of 'em...one of 'em, mate...one of 'em. Noel: They're not. They're not. They're not. They're not. They made one album.
Q: Would the Stones have done anything without getting arrested and getting people's backs up? Liam: No, would they fuck! No, that's why they were so good! That's why they were so good!
Noel: Of course they were good. (Super-indignant) What? Coz they got arrested! Because the Rolling Stones got arrested they were a great rock'n'roll band? Liam: No...No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! Noel:Fuck off! Bullshit! Bullshit! Liam: No, but they had..but they had summat else there.
Noel: They had what? An edge? Is that what you're saying? An edge.. Liam: No, they had a life, you dickhead. They had a life, man...
Noel: We've got a life! We've got a life!
Liam: Not if you start going on like that.
Noel: Why? But do you think...
Liam: (Begins to mince up and down bedroom). Do you want to walk around like that? Like that?
Noel: No, not at all.
Liam: (Still mincing) And get on your stage and go likethat, and you sit, and you go... Noel: Not at all. Not at all. Not at all. What I'm saying is, what I'm saying is you think...
Liam: You get into situations...
Noel: No...you think it's rock'n'roll to get thrown off a ferry, and it's not.
Liam: I don't think it's rock'n' roll. Noel: You fucking...that was your quote, you prick! That was your quote. Liam: No it weren't. No it weren't. No it weren't. No... Noel: It's rock'n'rooooooool! It's rock'n'rooool! That's what you said! Liam: I was laughing about it. Noel: No you weren't.
Liam: Coz everyone was getting hung up about it, going on like some Japanese fucker or some prick from Sony, right, who wants to come & fuckin' see us, right, and they've got a flight out there, right, and that Marcus was going on to me going, "What do you think about that, then" and I'm saying what do you mean what do I think. I think fuck all about you...they mean fuck all to me, you know, I don't even know him. Right, and if they fucking are flying out there, they're gonna it back on whatever the fuck..that's fuck all, that's...
Noel: Right.
Liam:...that's bullshit...
Noel: But what I'm saying to you...
Liam: And I just said it fuckin happened.
Noel: Nah...
Liam: And as far as I'm concerned, I was, I'm into it.
Noel: What I'm saying to you is...
Liam: Now I'm out of that cell and I fuckin' got out of that piss bucket, and I laugh about it and I think, yeah, fuckin' good, man.
Noel: Bollocks, man! Oasis...Oasis, right, is not... Liam: It happened, right. It happened. That was reality, mate. It happened.
Noel: We're not a bunch of boxers, are we? Right, so Oasis...
Q: But Oasis is seen as being a band who's similar to the Rolling Stones & the Pistols and the like....
Noel: Music! Music! Liam: And that's where you want to be, that's where you want to be...
Q: Let me see what you think of this. Musically, no, the reason people are writing about you I'd say musically it's about 70% of it. The other 30%, the reason that you get in the press and the people go, fuckin', and looking at you and all that is coz you do seem like a band that wherever they go summat's going to happen.
Liam: And that's good. That is good.
Noel: That's fine...that's fine.
Liam: I went, I went, uh, to do a video a King's Cross Station, yeah. I went out to the fucking shop to buy a paper, yeah, while I was there I had makeup on and fucking everthing ready to do the video shoot and you know ten minutes later, some crazy crackhead fucking bird...some woman called Pauline going, "Look man, look, they're fucking..." coz they're talking bullshit, and getting me hotter....and that was it, it's a situation.
Noel: Right.
Liam: ...that just arose.
Noel: Right. Fine, that's...
Liam: That is life.
Noel: Right. What I fucking say to that is, what I say to that is situations like that have been happening to me & him before we were in a band.
Liam: Therefore, why should it all change? Why should...
Noel: Shut up. Shut up. Liam: I get in situations all the time.... Noel: He's just said, he's just said 70%...
Liam: The band, the band is not a rule book for my life.
Noel: Right. The band is about fuckin' music. Right. It's not about getting thrown off fuckin ferries, or about...
Liam: I never said that.
Noel: (Exasperatedly) Why don't you go downstairs and smash the bar up and say you're the singer of Oasis?
Liam: Coz I don't want to. If I did, if I was gonna go down & smash the bar up, I'd do and there's nothing would stop me. Noel: Then why don't you go and make a scene, then?
Liam: Coz I'm not in that...I'm fucking...you know what I mean?
Noel: You're not...you're not... (laughs) Right. Why don't you do a Keith Richards? Throw the TV out of the window!
Liam: Coz I'm not Keith Richards. Noel: Throw the TV out the window!
Liam: I don't want to do that. If I wanted to do it, I'd just go like that and do it, and do it. But I don't want to do that. I'm not about that.
Noel: What are you about?
Liam: I'm about being...I'm about going down the fuckin'...I'm about...(takes long slug of G&T) That's what I'm about.
Noel: Right. That's what you're about. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. But I'm talking about fuckin'....Eeyare, I'm talking about our band here. hey, yo, I'm talking about our band. Liam: Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Noel: No you're not. You're talking about you. You're talking about you, right. I'm talking about our band...our band. Our band is about tunes.
Liam: Yeah, I know. Don't...don't think I'm stupid. Don't talk to me like I'm..
Noel: He's just said, seventy, 70% of what people are writing about is the music. Right. I'll take the 70%. The 30%, you can go and fuckin' blow it.
Liam: Sit down, man. Sit down, coz you're getting into a state. You're building yourself into a stat. You've had too many G&Ts. Sit the fuck down. Noel: No, no, no, I’m not
Noel: See, you're not a spokesman for the band.
Liam: I’m nah - are you?
Noel: Yeah. I am.
Liam: Are you?
Noel: Yeah. I am.
Liam: You might be in your little world, but as far as I'm concerned, if you think what I'm saying is bullshit, I think what you're saying is fuckin' bullshit, man. Noel: Right. Well, fine. Right. Well, fine. You don't speak for the band.
Liam: You don't speak for the band.
Noel: I do speak for the band.
Liam: You do, yeah, because you fuckin', yeah... I fucking speak for the band, I'm speaking now for the band. And I'm into it. I'm into all that fuckin' shit.
Noel: Yeah, you are. You are.
Liam: (Referring to Noel) He's teetotal. He's a fuckin' priest. He was born to be a priest.
Noel: No, listen. Listen. Listen. No, no, yeah, whoa, whoa,yeah. The difference is, I don't get caught.
Liam: Right.
Noel: Right. I don't get caught.
Liam: But I have to admit that I was fuckin'...(mumbling)
Noel: Right. That's all I have to say....I don't get caught.
Liam: So what you're trying to say, right, what you're trying to say, you're trying to say, right, that I'm out in a pub, yeah, I have a few beers, yeah, a situation arises, and I'm supposed to go like that (makes suitably effeminate gesture)?
Noel: What pub, where?
Liam: Anywhere, anywhere! The boat, the boat, the boat, the boat is the same thing. Noel: It isn't! Coz you're with Oasis! You're with the band!
Liam: Nah, nah, nah. There's no rules. Why don't you show me the rule book, then...coz if you've got a rule book, what you're saying is complete and utter fuckin' (picks up tape recorder and holds it to mouth) Bloooarskybluh!
Noel: I haven't got a rule book. I'm not saying there's any rules. I'm saying you're proud of the fact, you're proud of the fact. Why?
Liam: Coz it happened. I'm not proud...no, I'm not...If it didn't happen, if it didn't hapen, we wouldn't have been asked. Yeah, I won't be going...I won't be going...no, I don't go out to fucking' get a vibe and that to go "Yeah, yeah..."
Noel: You do! You do! Mark! You do, you walk into hotel fuckin' foyers and you get everybody at it and you go "Pssst", knocking on people's doors and go "hey", fuckin'...
Liam: I'm having the crack.
Noel: Right. Yeah. You're proud of the fact.
Liam: And it's not doing anyone any harm. It's not doing anyone any harm. That's me. John Lennon used to fuckin' burn about doing little mad things, and that...
Noel: Do you know John Lennon?
Liam: Do you know him?
Noel: I don't, but do you?
Liam: Yeah.
Noel: Well, you must be pretty old. How old are you? 21?
Liam: No. About fuckin' thousand and five fuckin' one.
Noel: You're 22.
Liam: No, I'm 21.
Noel: Right. And remember, I watched you being born...
Liam: Right.
Noel: ...and I don't even know John Lennon.
Liam: Right.
Noel: Right, then, so shut the fuck up about knowing John Lennon...so what are you trying to say, then?
Liam: What I'm saying's that you're not rock 'n' roll. You want to be teetotal and walk around and go like that (more mincing)?
Noel: I think you're missing the point. Liam: No, you're missing the point.
(indecipherable)
Q: Then why did he put the references to white lines in Cigarettes & Alcohol?
Liam: Exactly, why, why, didn't you, why, why...
Noel: That is, that's a part...that's not being bad, that's a part of life. That is a part of fuckin' life, we all snort white lines every day.
Liam: Exactly. and we all get into trouble now & again, we all have little fights... Noel: No we don't. We don't all get into trouble. Liam: But I do.
Liam: You want to be, you want to be..
Noel: Music! Music! Music! Music! Music! Music! Music! Music! Music! Music! Music! Music! Let's talk about music! Liam: (in background)You want to be, you want to be, you want to be Keith Richards. You want to be Keith Richards. Admit it. Admit it. You want to be Keith Richards. Admit it. Admit it. Admit it. Admit it.
Noel: Let's talk about music. Let's not talk about you being a hard guy. Let's talk about music. Let's talk about music! Let's not talk about you being an 'ard guy, let’s talk about music, let’s not talk about you being an ‘ard man, let's talk about music.
Liam: You're getting hung up about...you're getting hung up about a situation that occured on a boat!
Q: Let's go back to where we were before, when you said...that people saying "I go on Oasis' bus and you can't move for drugs and all that, and they're fuckin’ up all night..." You're up for that? You're up for that? That's the side that you will go..
Noel: Right. People are sat, right, in England, right now, in flats across this country, whether it be Glasgow, Manchester, Birmingham, London, Leeds, Liverpool, Sheffield...in rooms like this. And they've all got their drugs out. that's no fucking...that is no big...that is a part of life.
Liam: Exactly. So shut the fuck up , man! Noel: I'm not talking about that! Liam: Shut the fuck up, man, you're just contradicting yourself.. Noel: I’m not, I’m not, I’m not.. Liam: ..You've had too many fuckin’ drinks, right. The thing is, I don't want to be classed...I don't want to go on about how I'm this, how I'm a hard fucker, and I'm this... I'm in this band to make fucking music, but that thing will come along with it. It always does.
Q: The Who hated each other you know? Liam: Yeah, well I hate this bastard.
Q: Is that important to you? Is that what fires this band up?
Liam: Yeah. That's what it's all about. That's w hy we'll be the best band in the world, because I fuckin' hate that twat there.Q: The Who used to go on about how much they fuckin' hated eachother. Noel: The samegoes for you (laughing)
Liam: Yeah, well I fuckin' hate him. And I hope one day there's a release where I can smash fuck out of him, with a fuckin' Rickenbacker, right on his nose, and then he does the same to me, coz I think that we're stepping right up to it now. There's a fuckin' line there and we're right on the edge of it.
Q: How often do you have arguments like this?
Liam: Every fuckin'...every day. Every day. Every time...Noel: Hourly Q: Yeah.
Noel: Hourly
Q: And how do you manage to go on stage with each other?
Liam: I fuck him off.
Q: Do you argue immediately before you...do you argue immediately before you...
Liam: I've got a mike stand, I've got a mike stand, yeah. And I've got a mike stand, right, and that's what I'm about, right, what I'm into. I'm not going to fuck off because he thinks my views are fucking too outrageous or whatever. I've got my fuckin' vibe, and I go to that mike stand, and I do my business. He stands fuckin' in his fuckin' corner, he does, he does his little riffs and his little dance - let him do that. McGuigan does his fuckin' bit, I'll do my bit, the drummer does their bit. And that's what it's all about. Five people, not one.
Q: Do you have any recurring dreams?
Noel: Yeah. Just the one. Liam: When I take over the band...
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